Ask Musadi Lal

This is simple class room game,  give each student a “Ask the Expert ” question and have them give their advice in written , choose the best and discuss it with the class. These could made up by the googling the internet or real ones clipped from the advice columns. Here are some examples that I googled from net, you can do the same. This game can turn out to be very interesting, use your imagination as Training and placement officer.

1. Dear Musadi lal: Please settle a disagreement for us. Is a butter knife used to put your butter on your plate, or to spread the butter on your bread?

2. Dear Musadi lal: My sister-in-law is in the process of losing weight. We’re all very proud of her.

The problem is, whenever we are around her, she goes on and on about what she did or did not eat that day. She also gives us disapproving looks or makes unwelcome comments about what we are eating.

We have tried to gently change the subject, but it always goes back to food. Is there anything we can do or say to stop this without hurting her feelings?

3. Dear Musadi lal: I work in an office with more than 30 employees. Two weeks ago an envelope was sent around seeking our mandatory contributions to give gifts to the leader of the office “to show our appreciation.”

I was always taught one never “gifts up” the chain of command. I show my appreciation each day by being a good employee. Am I wrong?

4. Dear Musadi lal: I work at a public library and live not far from where I work. A lot of people who use the library live in my apartment building and I run into them often. These people never hesitate to stop me when I’m clearly off the clock to ask me a slew of library questions.

I confess I’m a bit of a doormat, and I’m afraid to ask them to leave me alone. Is there a way to tell those people to quit harassing me when I’m not working? I’d feel so much better about myself if I learned how. –

5. Dear Musadi lal : My wife and I are involved in a power struggle with my brother. At Newyear we invite him and his family to our home. We try to make our Newyear dinner fun and festive, so a lot of planning goes into the menu.

Every year, a day or two before the event, my brother calls to ask what’s on the menu, then offers his unwanted opinion on what we should or shouldn’t serve.

Last year he told me he wouldn’t be able to enjoy the meal because we weren’t serving one of the items he feels is “traditional” in our family. He says he’s family so he’s entitled to make suggestions. When I was unwilling to accommodate his “simple” request, he got upset. I’m on the verge of not inviting his family in the future. What should I do?

6. Dear Musadi lal, I have been married just a bit more than 2 years now. My husband and I have a 1 year old son together. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I try everything I can to get my husbands attention. He’d rather spend more of his time away from the home, than with me and the baby. I really miss him alot, and have expressed my feelings with him on several occasions, but it seems like he’s not listening anymore. My husband has admitted to cheating on me in the past, and is addicted to porn, and also has talked about divorce already. Somehow I still love him, but hate what he’s been doing to us and himself. How can I get him to fall inlove with me again???

7. Dear Musadi lal there’s a girl who loves me a lot but i have my boyfriend already and my boyfriend also love me what I do?

8. Dear Musadi lal I like my brother in laws sister and want to marry her but my sister is against my like, please help me?

I never had a word with that girl but I want to marry her. How should I start it? I mean how to tell my mother about this.
The reason my sister is against because that girl is the sister of my brother in law

9. Dear Musadi Lal. Is my friend a weird guy? URGENT!?

He is 32 years old and is very good looking, tall and has a good personality. He goes to the gym religiously and has a very good body.He is well known, very rich and successful in his job.

He is very sexy and he knows about his undeniable sex appeal. and girls drool at his sight.

But he has lots of bad habits.He sleeps around, does pot/drugs but fiercely maintains the image of a good changed man

He takes a lot of care in his looks and applies face washes and creams or lotions.
His face is completely blemish free and sometimes he looks as if hes stepped out of an ice cold shower

Like every year he has a new look, like last year till this year in May he kept a beard. Now hes got a new haircut like those of Mohawk or whatever but its not looking that great on him.

He is well dressed, but earlier he used to wear t shirts or jackets with skull prints or demon prints.
He likes to dress up in dark clothes, mostly black and grey, used to wear shirts or jackets with skulls or demon images.And he has tattoos like that as well.

But these days he wears plain t shirts and when he wears suits, he dresses up in a classy way with nicely done mix and match, like black suits with baby pink tie.

He rarely smiles for photographs, usually doesn’t but when he does he acts like a little boy like making very funny faces or laughing in a very funny way.
And when he is serious, he ll act all quiet and his face will have a very sad or serious look.
He loves little kids, especially little girls. When he sees small girls or babies he picks them up in his arms.

His wife does nothing except dres

sing up in flashy clothes and hanging out with friends ,doing makeup and running the makeup business, hosting several parties and getting her pictures clicked with her friends in immature poses.the wife comes to watch him in hometown events.he has a 4 year old kid whom he dearly loves.He wanted this baby as quickly as possible.

He looks at people very intently as well. Like staring at people closely. Looking at them straight in the eye and the stare is like strange.
He gets bonners very easily as well. like his package bulges out a lot and is visible in his jeans as well, like he gets erections too easily.

He likes reptilian creatures or creepy creatures like scorpions, lizards, monitors and snakes. Once he saw a scorpion at the airport and picked it up in his hands.

He has very active sex life, plenty of sexual partners and has lot of sex with girls. If girls reject him he abuses them verbally. He is very flirty with his girl fans even blowing kisses at them. But he is desperate to show that hes a really good guy to his fans.

He is a little kiddish. His latest hobby is stocking up remote control cars and playing with them. And these days he is on twitter a lot. Talking to his admirers. I feel he is really lonely because hes talking to his fans a lot. He said he ll be less of a hermit on twitter. i feel as if hes really lonely.

can he love truly?
will he find someone who loves him not his money, fame or body?

10. Dear Musadi Lal. Why is he doing that?

We both are 20yrs old. We became friend on facebook his cousin sister is my friend. We poked eachother everyday on fb. It looked like he flirted with me on fb he said hmm is it past your sleepy. I said im 20. I dont have bedtime. He said aww very good. After that he liked my pic and he said hmmm gurl with some attitude??? But I never met him him in person. I told him that I like him. I texted him that. I asked him does he like me. He said hmmmm yes!!. I asked him I hope ur not joking around. He said what do you think?? Im not joking:) Also i told him abt my past because he became friends with that muslim guy who played with my feelings. I told him everything that i did not know that muslim guy was engaged…before that other guy would fill his mind with lies against me I want to tell u abt this…He texted me back I trust u:) .After I told him about that we been texting in may goodmorning…or heyy,how are you? etc. I text him only on july 6. he is always on fb mobile.

We texted was june 6. I text him Hi yehh!! im done with my exams…He texted me hahah hi. Now Free?? I said yup now free.

On july 27th I texted him hey im going to temple this weekend. He replied to stop texting me!!!!!!! He said to me get lostt bitchhhh!!!!! He said I don’t like you, youre told old for me, you’re stupid, stop texting me??? I don’t why he said that to me. It really hurt my feelings…I said to him I still have ur texts from april I texted them to him..he said **** u bitchh!! Why he texted me before heyyy or hiii or good morning? I told his cousin sister and she blocked me on facebook and he also blocked me too….she jus said ur not wrong that u like him…and if he does not want to talk to you..u bug me about it? On August 2 he texted me today Hi and I replyed back to him Hi.

11. Dear Musadi Lal: My friend is very pretty but reserved?

Shes 22 and is very beautiful. wherever she goes guys turn or start staring at her. but shes a little weird, you know like hard to understand.when she sings, or has to act in a drama she is like so confident but after its over she is all quiet and talks less.
Even the most super hot guys or popular guys don’t get the response like they get from other girls.
the most good looking guy i know has girls running after him or screaming at him, desperate for attention but she gave him such a cold response, like oh hi that’s all which actually startled him.
Once he walked past her and she didnt even look at him which was so weird.
I am asking this on behalf of my friend who is a hardcore womanizer but is desperately seeking her affections. She loves him too but has bottled it because she says she cannot accept infidelity and so hes turning the house upside down, trying to change himself.
Her feelings are rarely known and she has a lot of pride. She knows shes gorgeous but hardly takes her photos while those uglier girls are caking their faces with makeup and taking dozens of their photos.
What do you think about her?

12. Dear Musadi Lal :Will i loose her by my silly.proposal forever? ?

m in a love with a girl called shweta…. 11th.std… n m in 12th… she used stare at me may b coz of my attrative personality once i.had a.conversation wid her 5-6 months back n she only started the.coversation.first… she neva made.any bf in her life… so is it a right time to.propose her… shez just too innocent n.sweet… i dont wanna loose my silly proposal… plz help me frndz…. i.dont know what now?

13. Dear Musadi Lal My best friend(he is my bro) steals my girls every time….what should i do?

i am a very shy kind of guy. i dont open up to anyone soon, especially girls. and every time i hit it off with a girl i ask my friend “C” for any tips(he is a womanizer of sorts). the next thing i know, he is sending her facebook request, chatting with her all the time, getting her number, calling her in front of me and she ends up gravitating towards him. (and the surprising thing is that he claims to love a girl”A” but flirts around anyway).and this is not a stand alone case, he’s done it with me five times now, which leaves me with a doubt, am i over-thinking or is he not a good friend? what should i do? i am angry and low. help. 🙁

14. Dear Musadi Lal : How to not feel so lonely…?

I always feel lonely,wish I had a girlfriend,but I feel so pathetic.I live with a pretty big family,but I rarely talk to them,they just don’t understand me.I masturbate too much,that I always feel so disgusted with myself.I just wish there was someone I could love,who would love me back.Please help,I’m always crying about this…

P.S.My parents are over protective,I seldom leave the house,and I’m home schooled;and I’m only 15.

15. Dear Musadi Lal How do i go home without letting anyone know?

I am not much of a attention grabber in parties and functions but what really hurts me is the face that people make at the point of my leaving as if it really matters to them…They act as if they are really very sad at my leaving..I am fed up of their fake expressions…How should I take the Parting from a party without all this nonsense…??

16. Dear Musadi Lal So many problems with this girl please help?

So there is this girl who I have known since I was born. Her mom is my godmother. Well this girl lied and says that she doesn’t get my text messages, she ingnores me on twitter but I see her tweeting her other friends and her boyfriend hates me but she let’s him treat me like crap. And she told me once that if I’m with her when she goes places with her boyfriend her mom won’t care because I’m with her and her mom knows im a good kid. She also lies to her mom about where she goes. She says she’s going over her friends house when she’s really with her bf. she treats her other friends so much better than me and it’s really upsetting. Next time I see her I’m gonna be compleley honest and tell her that we can’t be friends. She lies, she doesn’t care about me, she uses me and she let’s her other friends treat me like dirt. What else should I do?

17. Dear Musadi Lal Why does my best friend choose her boyfriend before me !?

Okay I have been thinking about this a lot I try not to cause it makes me sad but I just can’t help it my bestfriend which is more like a sister to me just got a bf they’ve been dating for like less then a month well her mom is soo mean and strict so she doesn’t let her have a cell phone so every time she’s with me she completely ignores me and just grabs my phone and starts txting her bf and then she goes thru my other stuff to her mom is really mean to her and every time I want to tell my friend to give me my freaking phone and stop talking to ur annoying *** bf who was rude to us during school he apologized to my bestfriend but I don’t buy it !! Anyways I want to tell her how I feel but I just can’t I don’t want to hurt her feelings she still emails her bf alot too that’s what pisses me off she emails the dude but she still wants to grab my phone and txt him dang and I don’t have anyone u know my dad is barley home my mom has her own friends who she puts before me mostly snd my sis who was my only person to talk to is I’n college what do I do !? I can’t tell my other friends they wont understand and I only told one guy and he said my bff was I’n love and to support her and I do but it just hurt my feelings soo bad she only has like two convos with me the whole night and next day she doesn’t talk to me cause she’s too busy txting her bf on my phone! And every time she gets a bf she always ALWAYS puts him FIRST ! I also have a bf and I still talk to her and my other friends gawd I can’t tell alot of ppl cause her moms a big ***** and if she finds out my bff will get I’n trouble I’m just lonely and sad I see all these ppl on fb with there bestfriends and I don’t have mine anymore cause she chooses her bf over me nobody just understand!;( PLEASE HELP !

18. Dear Musadi Lal: How to regain trust and broken friendship?

There is a girl.We were close friends.We use to be best friends.Whatever work we did, we always used to do it together..Suddenly, I did a huge mistake, which hurt her a lot, emotionally and i broke her trust.
On top of that, i proposed to her that time, which only added to her agony.She thought of me as her bro.
Now, I do not like her anymore romantically.She is a sister now. I would love to be her best friend again.But she says it is not possible for her to be like before.She said she will talk with me, but friendship is over.She does not take me in her group and stopped hanging out with me.It hurts me deeply.I just want to be her good friend .
I have apologized to her many times.She says she does not have a problem with me as a human being, but no friends…is what she says.

Please help me regain her trust and friendship.
Thank You!

19. Dear Musadi Lal :The riddle behind my love story?

I loved this girl from about 2006.We seperated 5 months later and moved on with our lives.We have never met since.We are friends on facebook but hardly talk.Six years later,i am moving out if town.Got a good job and making a fresh start.My question is i secretly took one of her belongings(nothing dirty).I am thinking to return it now with a last goodbye letter.should i do that.Ask her address on facebook stating that i have something that belongs to you.what should i do.Need help here.

20. Dear Musadi Lal :Why are some people so freakin lucky!! Please check out this story of my friend!!?

Ok there is this girl!! shes is sooo lucky in like everything!!! and i would like to emphasize on “EVERYTHING” you jus name it…she so darn pretty!! has such an infectious smile…always the topper in her field..very smart, all the guys in her class drool over her like craazzyyy!! and she is rich…always goes on a cruise during holidays.. and she won a very coveted beauty competition too and she has such a beauutiful family…very loving parents and sister!! shes so talented won a lot of championships!! ok common i am almost like nothing compared to her!
i am not very pretty! i have to work a lott on my appearence like threading ,waxing all the time!! its so annoying and with a lot of effort some guys notice me !!..although i am talented i just have a very lousy confidence to bring it out!! …like WHY ON EARTH do some people have to be so lucky???? its like putting fuel over people’s already existing miseries!!..and HOW is life been unfair to the lucky girl i just described???…i beleive life can really be fair to some “selected” few…i am not one among those for sure…i know i shouldn’t be thinking this way…but HELL i cant stop it sometimes..:/

21. Dear Musadi Lal I am disgusted by the lack of manners shown by cellphone users. I run an antiques store in a small tourist town. I cannot tell you how many “insulted and incensed” customers I have asked to please leave my shop because they insisted on talking on their cellphones.

I have also asked people in church to carry on their conversations outside. A man at my daughter’s high school graduation got a call and proceeded to talk on and on until I finally asked him to leave. This has happened in restaurants, movies – even in a play. It’s inconceivable to me that cellphone users are unable to understand that their VIP conversations are rude to those who are forced to listen

22. Dear Musadi Lal What do you do with someone who has no manners? A relative of my husband’s has been dating a woman for more than a year. They are both in their 30s, and there’s a strong possibility they will marry.

Whenever a group of us get together to go out for dinner, on vacation or anywhere, she puts a damper on the entire event. She won’t converse (and it’s not because she’s shy), she never smiles, she just sits with her arms crossed and is absolutely miserable.

She has been to our home for dinner on a couple of occasions. Afterward she gets up from the table and never, ever, says please or thank you. She’s the most immature, self-centered, unpleasant human being I have ever met. Even our children comment on her rudeness – in addition to the group of people we go out with. She is even rude to my mother-in-law, but her boyfriend just doesn’t see it.

They say that love is blind – but THAT blind? It has reached the point that we don’t want to associate with this couple. Would I be out of line to say something to her (particularly when she is in my home) about her lack of manners, and if so – what do you suggest I say? (I know what I’d LIKE to say!)

23. Dear Musadi Lal :I have an offensive habit of looking people “up and down” when I first meet them, and when I think no one is aware of it. I have tried breaking myself of the habit, but I often don’t realize I’m doing it until I catch myself. I know other people notice.

I’m a shy, self-conscious person, but at my age I should be comfortable enough with myself to not allow my insecurities to be so obvious. How can I stop this bad habit?

24. Dear Musadi Lal There is a guy at work I’ve been attracted to for as long as I have worked here – six years. We see each other a couple of times a week, if that.

We attended a retirement party for one of the employees recently. He started pursuing me. We ended up getting to know each other and stayed together the rest of the night.

We took a drive, and he was holding my hand and saying all the things a woman wants to hear. We kissed. When the night came to an end, we sat in his car and hugged and fell asleep together. (He did not push me to do anything more than the kissing, hugging and hand-holding, which I respect.) It seemed like a beautiful dream.

The following week at work he claimed not to remember much of that night, although he seemed to have a smirk on his face when he said it. anytime I hook up with someone, I tell myself, “Let’s see what happens,” and I don’t pursue it any further, hoping the guy will. (I’m shy when it comes to men.) Then nothing ever happens. I’ll be 30 soon and I’ve been single almost 10 years.

Should I pursue this further, or leave it alone and see what happens as I’ve always done?

25. Dear Musadi Lal My mother’s Alzheimer’s became apparent after she was in a car accident. I should have noticed the signs earlier, but I didn’t. Her body recovered; her mind did not.

I built a new house with a separate suite for her. My wife and I tried to care for her for a year, but I’m disabled and Mom was afraid of my wife. There was never a moment’s peace. Fearing for our collective health, I finally placed Mom into an assisted living facility. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life.

My children criticized me but offered no alternatives. I visited her as often as possible. Because I could no longer drive, I sent someone with gifts and treats for her. Mom died in 2007 after 10 years in the facility. Her disease left my wife and me drained emotionally and financially. I still feel guilty for not doing more. The look of fear on her face haunts me still. Is this normal for someone in my circumstances?

26. Dear Musadi Lal: Some friends of ours entertain often, and ask certain guests to bring dishes for as many as 15 to 18 people. I am often left a message telling me to come up with a specific dish. Because I am a good cook, the dishes they request can be quite elaborate.

Last week, two of the eight couples invited were asked to bring a dish for dinner. As I was unwrapping mine, the hostess told me to mix it together with the other one, which had been bought at the supermarket! She seemed put out when I replied that I had spent many hours preparing my dish and would rather not combine them.

In the future when I’m invited, I’ll accept and say that I’ll contribute some wine. Please don’t advise that we refuse invitations from this family – they are my husband’s oldest friends, and our husbands do business together. By the way, this couple could afford to cater these gatherings.